Death & Dying
This past week I conducted a Buddhist funeral or memorial service for one of our members who recently passed away. It made me realize what an important role our Center is for our members and for all of Kansas City. Marguerite Burks knew she didn’t have much time left and met with me about 10 days before her death to plan her memorial service. You may remember that I asked all of you to do tonglen practice for Marguerite last Sunday. What I didn’t know is that she had already made the transition and passed into the bardo early that same morning.I remember when Marguerite and her sister took my “Basics of Buddhism” class about a year ago. Then they both attended our Green Tara retreat last summer. Her sister told me how important the Rime Center was to Marguerite and herself. Her sister said that Marguerite had felt she had finally found a spiritual connection that comforted her. At her funeral service last week at the Rime Center over 200 people attended. I mention this only because I think it is important that everyone realize the important need that the Rime Center fulfills in our community.
Because of the Buddhist doctrine of karma, Buddhists accept death as something natural and a part of the continual cycle of life, death and re-birth. We don’t believe we have lived just a few lifetimes, but countless, innumerable lifetimes.
The most widely known and useful book on death and dying from a Buddhist perspective is the “Tibetan Book of the Dead”, which describes each step of the dying process in detail. There are many editions of the text, with different styles of explanations, and it is widely available in a variety of printed and multimedia formats. As a loved one is dying volunteers or family members can read versions of this text. If no one is available to read to the loved one, tapes or CDs can be played as part of the plan of care.
The environment at the time of death is considered very important. Ideally one should die in calm, peaceful environment. As one nears the time of death if there are family members who are upset and crying or wailing, they should be removed from the room. Sogyal Rinpoche in his text “The Tibetan Book of Living & Dying” says “There is no greater gift of charity you can give than helping a person to die well.”
How is death defined from the Buddhist perspective? According to the Tibetan teachings, after the last breath, the subtle energies of the body draw toward the heart area. Then the subtle energy that maintains the white, masculine energy, received from one’s father at the moment of conception and maintained in the crown of the head throughout one’s life, drops toward the heart. The deceased has a visual experience like moonlight. Then the red, feminine energy, received from one’s mother at conception and maintained below the navel, rises toward the heart. The deceased has a visual experience of redness, like the sky at dawn or sunset. The masculine and feminine energies merge and one swoons into unconsciousness, like passing into a clear, dark night. This is called the death, beyond resuscitation.
However, it is believed that the subtle consciousness (that which is re-born) can remain in the body for up to 3 days or longer, depending on the circumstances of death. If the body dies by accident or violence, the consciousness may exit immediately. In these cases, the body is merely a corpse and nothing unusual needs to be considered. But, after a peaceful death, it is considered important that the subtle consciousness exits from the crown (charka) of the head. It is considered advisable to have a trained and qualified Lama to perform Phowa practice to help the deceased’s consciousness leave from the crown of the head.
The fact the body is to be left undisturbed for 3 days raises issues about organ donation. Of course, if the deceased expressed an interest in organ donation (and it is practical) it is believed the benefits of organ donation outweigh any spiritual issues. It is believed that because organ donation is the ultimate act of compassion, it is therefore acceptable to make an exception for the benefit of others.
Last summer I received a call from a Chaplain at St. Luke’s hospital because a young Tibetan woman had died and the family was requesting her body to be left undisturbed in the room for 3 days. The hospital wanted to first verify that this practice was in fact a part of Tibetan Buddhism. The hospital wanted to comply with the family wishes but was concerned about health regulations. The hospital contacted the county medical examiner and found there were no laws prohibiting such a thing. So, I am pleased to report that the family’s wishes were honored.
Once the subtle consciousness has left the body it then enters into the Bardo and during the next 49 days will encounter the 100 peaceful & wrathful deities. Specifically there are 58 wrathful and 42 peaceful deities that one will encounter. It is considered important that you are very familiar with these so it is recommended that you study these 100 peaceful & wrathful deities. This is usually taught as part of what is called the “Shitro” teachings. When I received these teachings from one of my root teachers I was even given a small wallet size card containing the images of these 58 wrathful and 42 peaceful deities and encouraged to study them often. They are also on the shrine behind me.
Sukhavati Ceremony
Immediately following death a small shrine is erected with a picture of the deceased (to be burned latter), along with flowers, a candle and some incense. The chant of Sukhavati is then recited. The shrine can be set-up either in the family's home or at the Buddhist Center and should be left up for 49 days. During the 49 days friends and family should be encouraged to do the meditation practice of tonglen is an effort to assist the deceased with any difficulties in going through the bardo experience. It is believed that "letting go" will actually aid the deceased on their journey and to cling or to be overly attached may impede their progress through the bardo. On precisely the 49th day following the person's death the process is repeated - again reciting the Sukhavati chant. Then the photo of the deceased is burned once again with a sense of letting go. It is believed that on the 49th day the deceased takes rebirth.
To prepare for death one should meditate on or contemplate the three roots of death. The three roots are:
1. The certainty of death.
2. The uncertainty of when our death will occur.
3. What will benefit us at the time of death.
1. Certainty of Death:
The first root of death is the certainty that one day we will all die. Even the Buddha died. The Gods of the God Realm die. In Buddhism it is believed that everything in this phenomenal world is impermanent. Nothing lasts forever. Whatever is stored up – will eventually be exhausted. Whatever is built up - will eventually fall down. Whatever comes together - will eventually come apart, and whatever is born will, one day will die. The death of our body is of course the ultimate form of impermanence. The difficult part is accepting the impermanent nature of our world. Death, from the Buddhist perspective is viewed as only a temporary state between re-births.
We should meditate or contemplate about how this precious amazing human life form is definitely temporary and we will definitely leave it one day. We should think about how this world will go on without us. While we may be missed by our friends and loved ones, they will eventually get over this and the world will definitely go on, just as it did before, without us. When we really push into it, you may feel a little bit afraid, but then you may feel a sense of relief. You realize that the universe minus you will work. The universe goes on, minus you. You may feel that you need to be here to do this or that, but you realize it will carry on without you just fine. Of course each of us is unique and you make a contribution, but no one is indispensable.
2. Uncertainty Of The Time Of Death:
The second root of death is the uncertainty of when we will die. We act as if we are immortal and will live forever. But the fact is we never know when we will die. We could die in the very next moment. Every day we are within an inch of death. One of us might die on the drive home this morning. I certainly hope that is not the case, but it is entirely possible. There are many natural causes that could result in our death. We could be struck by lightening, or sucked up in a tornado, or the earth could quake and we could die. The roof could collapse and all of us could die in the next moment. Sometimes an adult child is caring for an elderly parent who is close to death, but unexpectedly the child dies first.
When we meditate or contemplate on this second root we realize that this moment could be our last. This is not intended in a morbid way but rather to realize the impermanent nature of our life. We recognize the vulnerability of this mind/body complex. We realize it will be dissolved in its current form.
So, the first root is the certainty of death. The second root is the uncertainty of the time of death. We should meditate or contemplate on these first two roots.
3. What Will Benefit Us When We Do Die:
The third root is what will be of benefit to us at the time of our death. Our possessions will not benefit us. Our house will not benefit us. Our car will not benefit us. Our computer will not benefit us. Neither will our ATM card. We will no longer be the signatory on our bank account. All of our possessions will be useless to us.
Even our relationships will be useless to us. Our friends and loved ones will not be able to help us. Ordinary beings cannot follow us into the bardo state.
The only thing that will ultimately help us at the time of death is the imprint that we have left on our subtle consciousness. If, at the time of death, we have left intact deep impulses of anger, hatred and greed, these afflictive emotions will definitely affect our re-birth. On the other hand, if we have cultivated the virtues of loving-kindness, compassion, patience, and generosity – then that too will have an affect upon our re-birth. It is important to realize that our subtle consciousness is relative, changeable and malleable. It is up to us what imprint we leave on our subtle consciousness. It is important that we the importance of practicing the Dharma – here and now. It is the only thing that we can depend upon. Once you come to this realization, then you know that you can become this magnificent being of love and light for all beings. You no longer expect someone else to do it, but you realize you are capable of this yourself.
When we come to this realization then all of the enlightened beings - the Buddhas & Bodhisattvas and all of the enlightened beings smile down upon us from the Refuge Jewel wish-fulfilling tree that I described earlier in the guided meditation.
This is why developing and doing a daily meditation practice is so important. If you have a daily practice I recommend sometimes meditating on three roots of death, and if you don’t have a meditation practice then I recommend you start one.
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