I’ve been doing a series of Dharma talks on the six paramitas. The six paramitas are:

• Generosity

• Ethical behavior/Virtue

• Patience

• Effort

• Concentration/Meditation

• Wisdom

Last week I talked about the paramita of “virtue or ethical behavior” this week I’d like to talk about the paramita of “patience.” Paramita is usually translated as “perfection” but a literal translation is “to carry across.” Because it is believed that practicing and actualizing these will carry us across the vast ocean of suffering - to the other side - which is enlightenment.

The opposite of patience is anger, hatred, and irritability. As I was searching through my Dharma books on this topic of “patience” I came across a wonderful piece by Lama Surya Das in his new book “Buddha Is As Buddha Does.” I am going to ask the preceptors to each read a paragraph on “patience” from this book.

“We live in an era that’s in love with all things new, swift, convenient, and hassle-free. As we run each day to keep up with the ever-accelerating pace of life, we rely more and more on fast food, quick service, instant messaging, high-speed Internet access, same-day delivery, and snap judgments. If we’re told we have to wait for something, we’re immediately bummed out. If the correct answer to a question doesn’t pop up in our minds right away, we get upset. If anyone or anything gets in our way, we’re automatically angry. If a commercial appears on the TV screen while we’re watching a movie, we impatiently switch channels.

Even when we do realize how much we suffer from the rush of things, we often turn toward some sort of speedy, short-term solution. Searching for peace of mind, we try to buy time by multitasking our chores, streamlining our schedules, and bringing products into our lives that rev up the way we cook, clean, exercise, learn, meet people, travel, or make a living. Ironically, the result is often an increase in our craving for painless speed and a decrease in our ability to tolerate the inevitable challenges of life and to handle situations that call for calm reflection, restraint, and long-term bigger-picture thinking-in other words, situations that slow us down or require more nuanced consideration.”

Does this sound familiar to you? How often are we annoyed because our high speed Internet is not working? Or we are late for a meeting and stuck in a traffic jam? Or we are in a hurry and at the grocery store and we are in the “Express Lane of 10 items or less” and we can see the person ahead of us has twice that many items. And as if that wasn’t enough then they have the audacity to pay by writing a check - delaying us even further. These kinds of annoyances are all due to being in too much of a hurry.

Lama Surya Das suggests that we slow down and have calm reflection and more consideration. So how do we do that? The best way I know is through meditation practice. When we meditate we are stopping our bodies and minds - in other words slowing down - and practicing mindfulness.

From Lama Surya Das’ books is a wonderful story about Patrul Rinpoche.

“The best teaching tale I know on this issue is a classic Tibetan Buddhist story about Patrul Rinpoche, the beloved vagabond lama who spent his life wandering throughout Tibet and dispensing his wisdom. Patrul was deeply committed to keeping people focused on the practical essence of spirituality rather than on its formal observance. He never hesitated to deflate pomposity or pretense. One time he heard about a renowned hermit who had lived for a long time in seclusion. He decided to visit this hermit. When he arrived unannounced at the hermit’s cave, he peered inside with a big grin on his heavily lined face.

“Who are you?” asked the hermit. “Where have you come from, and where are you going?”

Patrul replied, “I come from behind my back and am going in the direction I’m facing.”

The hermit frowned, wanting a more precise answer. “Where were you born?” he asked.

“In this world,” Patrul answered.

The hermit was even more annoyed. “What is your name?” he demanded.

“Yogi Beyond Action,” said Patrul. “And now let me ask you something: why do you live in such a remote place?”

The hermit answered with pride, “I have been here for twenty years, meditating on the transcendental perfection of patience.”

“That’s a good one!” The mischievous Patrul laughed out loud. Then, leaning forward as if to confide something, he whispered, “Perfect patience? A couple of old frauds like us could never manage anything like that!”

The hermit, flushed with anger, rose from his seat and shouted, “Who do you think you are, disturbing my retreat like this? What made you come here? Why couldn’t you leave a humble person like me to meditate in peace?”

“And now, my dear friend,” said Patrul calmly, “where is your perfect patience?”

As with the other paramitas the paramita of “patience” is divided into three parts: 1. Remaining Calm, 2. Accepting Suffering, and 3. Developing Certainty In the Dharma.

1. Remaining calm: If you can refrain from retaliating with anger when someone or something harms or frustrates you, you’re practicing this form of patience. Sometimes just allowing some “space” in situation is all that is needed. How many times have you been in a heated exchange with another person where we said something mean or hateful, in the heat of the moment, only later to regret it. How many of you here have responded angrily with an e-mail and only after you hit the “send” button you immediately regretted what you said - and wished you could take it back? I can remember several times when this has happened to me. This is where a allowing a little “space” in a situation would have come in very handy.

2. Accepting suffering: Even when someone or something isn’t attacking or irritating you, you’ll still continue to experience suffering in life. Things don’t always go our way. Sometimes we have to wait on the: internet, traffic, in a line at the grocery - we have to learn to accept situations in life as they are - and not as how we would like them to be. This is “accepting suffering.”

3. Developing certainty In the Dharma: Old habits are hard to break, so when difficulties arise, your tendency is to react to them in the same unskillful and destructive ways you’ve always used. In other words, when push comes to shove, you tend to forget all the dharma you’ve ever heard and shove back. This third aspect of patience involves searching for the appropriate dharma solution to each problem you face, and then making the concerted effort to apply this solution directly to your present situation, no matter how hard it may be.

So, in this coming week I want you to consciously work on the paramita of “patience.” Try to practice it all aspects of your life - whether it is waiting on the internet, in traffic, or in line a the store. When you encounter a difficult person - allow some “space” - which is a practice of patience. And finally, remember that the practice of meditation is actually an antidote for lack of patience. It is the intentional stopping of the body and mind and just being still. This reminds me of a wonderful quote by one of my favorite poets, T.S. Elliot when he said:

“Teach me to care and not to care Teach me to sit still”