Tonglen Meditation Instructions
In With the Good, Out With the Bad
by Pema Chodron
Tonglen practice reverses the usual logic of avoiding suffering and seeking pleasure In the process, we become liberated from very ancient patterns of selfishness. We begin to feel love for both ourselves and others; we begin to take care of ourselves and others. Tonglen awakens our compassion and introduces us to a far bigger view of reality It introduces us to the unlimited spaciousness of shunyata (emptiness). By doing the practice, we begin to connect with the open dimension of our being. At first this allows us to experience things as not such a big deal and not so solid as they seemed before.
Tonglen can bedone for those who are ill those who are dying or have died, those who are in pain of any kind. It can be done as a formal meditation practice or right on the spot at any time. We are out walking and we see someone in pain -- right on the spot we can begin to breathe in that person’s pain and send out relief.
Or we are just as likely to see someone in pain and look away. The pain brings up our fear or anger; it brings up our resistance and confusion. So on the spot we can do tonglen for all the people just like ourselves, all those who wish tobe compassionate but instead are afraid—who wish to be brave but instead are cowardly. Rather than beating ourselves up, we can use our personal stuckness as a stepping stone tounderstanding what people are up against all over the world. Breathe in for all of us and breathe out for all of us. Use what seems like poison as medicine. We can use our personal suffering as the path tocompassion for all beings.
When you do tonglen as a formal meditation practice, it has four stages:
1. First, rest your mind briefly, for a second or two, in a state of openness or stillness. This stage is traditionally called flashing on absolute bodhicitta, or suddenly opening to basic spaciousness and clarity.
2. Second, work with texture. Breathe in a feeling of hot, dark and heavy—a sense of claustrophobia -- and breathe out a feeling of cool, bright, and light—a sense of freshness. Breathe in completely through all the pores of your body, and breathe out, radiate out, through all the pores of your body. Do this until it feels synchronized with your in- and out-breaths.
3. Third, work with a personal situation—any painful situation that’s real to you. Traditionally you begin by doing tonglen for someone you care about and wish to help. However, if you are stuck, you can do the practice for the pain you are feeling and simultaneously for all those just like you who feel that kind of suffering. For instance, if you are feeling inadequate, you breathe that in for yourself and all the others in the same boat, and you send out confidence and adequacy or relief in any form you wish.
4. Finally; make the taking in and sending out bigger. If you are doing tonglen for someone you love, extend it out tothose who are in the same situation as your friend. If you are doing tonglen for someone you see on television or on the street, do it for all the others in the same boat. Make it bigger than just that one person. If you are doing tonglen for all those who are trapped, maybe that’s big enough. But you could go further in all these cases. You could do tonglen for people you consider tobe your enemies—those who hurt you or hurt others. Do tonglen for them, thinking of them as having the same confusion and stuckness as your friend or yourself breathe in their pain and send them relief.
Tonglen can extend infinitely. As you do the practice, gradually over time your compassion naturally expands, and so does your realization that things are not as solid as you thought. As you do this practice, gradually at your own pace, you will be surprised to find yourself more and more able to be there for others even in what used to seem like impossible situations.